Saturday, 17 April 2010

Last Night

I got masturbated at. Yes. Really.

I was in my usual place drinking my usual drinks. I went to the toilet and stood at the urinal. I then realise this guy next to me is looking right at me. I look over, kind of good looking. I then realise he's stroking his big hard cock. Seriously, what the fuck. How would that ever be appealing to me? I actually thought you were hot until you went all creepy flasher on me. This is not a gay bar. I am not some cock hungry queer awaiting a good pounding. Debatable. He was licking his fingers and stroking the head, still looking at me while I was trying my hardest to just piss. Needless to say I was a little distracted and I couldn't go.
So i zipped up and left. He followed me out and grabbed my arm.
'Hey what's your name?'
'Seriously, get your dicky hand off me and fuck off.'
He got the message. I told Girl Housemates and they thought it was hilarious. So did I, but still, I don't like unwanted penis in my personal space. Thanks.

I had my last saturday shift today and got a card signed by everyone. Some excerpts:

I can't believe you're leaving me, you've broken up the Sunday crew. Gonna miss you like crazy, you helped make the job bearable.

Good luck quiffins. Gonna miss your tunes. Big kisses (and a red lipstick kiss mark)

Who am I gonna exchange movie and drinking experiences with when i should be working? You're one of the old school-i can't be that!

My manager drew a penis next to her message.

Gay boy. I can't believe you're leaving me after all our time together. I love you loads. All my love the other gayer.

Etcetera....
I'm amazing.

S just text me and we're going somewhere awful tonight. I wasn't going to get too drunk but I think i'll have to numb myself to cope.

2 comments:

BI LIKE ME said...

Ewww..someone jerking off next to you at a urinal? Gross, disgusting..

Got the name of that bar? ;)

Andy said...

BLM-you made me laugh out loud on the bus when i read that earlier. It was a good thing there were stranger people there to take the attention away.