Thursday, 27 May 2010
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
haha, j/k. that was crazy towards the end! Also, what were you scared of? Zac Efron's face he made, or the hottie from the Philippines (because I was quite turned on)? comment here
There's so much about this comment that's amazing I couldn't quite believe it at first.
'Well there goes my saturday plans... how the hell was I supposed to know somebody copied my whole routine! Wtfff!'
Kudos to you because that made me laugh. A lot. I need to know where you go out because seeing that video reenacted up close would possibly be the best thing to have ever happened to me. But you MUST include the crawling babies.
'Also, what were you scared of? Zac Efron's face he made, or the hottie from the Philippines (because I was quite turned on)?'
Ahhhh! I just don't know how to write in words what this made me feel inside. I'm so confused and excited. I was terrified of both things in that post. Zac Efron: how can one person change emotion so fast? Amusement-Confusion-Sheer desperation and destruction of the soul. It's surely unnatural and yet I definitely want to possess that kind of control. In fact I wish I could stare at that .gif all day, it would either bestow on me the meaning of life, or scar me so permanently i'd have to eat through a straw.
Hottie from the Philippines (because I was quite turned on). I just....I don't even.....you made my day.
Monday, 24 May 2010
I was all
Edit:I've been told by a friend that she is in fact representing the Pontianak; an undead woman in Phillipine folklore who's died from childbirth and so reeks her revenge by killing men and stealing babies. Lovely! I'm not sure if this makes it less creepy or not.
Do you have anything bothering you?
In a way; i've gone so far beyond the thought of it bothering me that i've accepted it.
When was the last time you cried?
I can't remember
Age of first kiss?
Has anyone ever said something that brought tears to your eyes?
Do you think you’ve changed over the past year?
I don't think i've changed fundamentally, i've just become more accepting of who I am and what I will become and it's made me grow and open up to possibilities.
How great was your last kiss?
Not great, not awful
Last person who drove you somewhere?
A girl housemate to the cinema.
When’s the last time you said you were fine, but really weren’t?
I never do that
Do you have an ex you can’t stop thinking about?
Best advice you’ve ever gotten?
'Don't give a fuck what they think'-Mother
If you were to die today would your life be complete?
Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for?
This person does not exist
Are you taller than 5’5”?
Yeah, I'm like five' ten"
Your crush wants to hang out, what do you say?
This weekend, name a place and time.
Do you have braces?
No, never have, although I do have one tooth that's slightly out of place and it annoys me to no end, no matter how insignificant. I'll get it fixed at some point.
Did you stand on your tippy-toes when you had your last kiss?
No, it was on a bed
Have you ever made out with someone you weren’t dating?
Have you ever gone out with anyone older than you?
The only people i've ever 'gone out with' were older
Is the last person you kissed gay?
Excited for anything?
The month of June
If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back?
Depends on their level of intoxication at the time
At the moment, do you terribly miss someone?
Would you kiss the last person you texted?
J-yeah I guess. Mouth closed though
Three feelings at the moment?
Nervous, unattached, content.
Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
A shop to buy an ice lolly.
Who taught you how to swim?
I surely taught myself, no one can teach me something that my mind or body is not able of accomplishing by itself.
Do you think dimples on guys are cute?
Will this week be a good one?
Not until 11am on Friday.
Have you yelled at anyone in the past few days?
Yes, a Girl Housemate for leaving teabags in the sink.
Do you find it hard to trust people?
I trust everyone up to a certain point. But i only really trust a small number.
If the last person you kissed bumped into you at school, what would you say?
I often walk around paying great attention to those around me, in order to avoid anyone I wish not to speak to.
What time did you get up this morning and why?
11.30am, because i'd finished sleeping.
Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
Depends where I am.
Have you ever been to New York City?
I'll be there for a week from 5th July. And I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT.
How many close friends do you have?
Are you satisfied with how things are going?
I don't think most people are satisfied, including me.
Will tomorrow be better than today?
They will both be as distressing as each other.
Are any of your texts in your inbox locked?
No, but I routinely delete texts from certain people.
Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past month?
Yes, a Girl Housemate just after I woke up.
How many people did you date last summer?
I have no idea what I did last Summer, so anywhere between 0 and 692.
If you have a question i'll (probably) answer it.
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Saturday, 22 May 2010
Friday, 21 May 2010
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Over the last 120 minutes whilst reading chapters of a chemistry textbook (if for some reason you don't know already, i'm studying a chemistry related course) and having some compilation of music videos that 'everyone' (repeated many times by the host, although I still wonder who 'everyone' is, and what person put together this list and why they think them worthy) should be listening to and watching right now, I managed to only know 5 out of the 40 acts I saw. I see this as an accomplishment. I've been working towards it for a good 8 months; never listening to radio, sticking to the same bars and clubs, walking away from any conversation that involves the words 'tune', 'radio 1' or 'new single', and only downloading songs recommended by trusted friends or blogs, filtering out and putting the ones I enjoy on repeat.
I don't do this as some sort of self-righteous snobby attack against pop culture. I just dislike the crappy shit that is constantly filling the airwaves of this country and calling itself 'individual' or 'new' when it's all been done before and someplace somewhere someone is sampling a sample and remixing it and then adding a bassline.
That is my culture, and it's based on nothing, because nothing is the only thing that anyone has never done.
The double standard is my only standard.
Monday, 17 May 2010
Par example: My exam this morning.
Reason: In case of a bad outcome at least you look good, and then if people ask you how it went and you answer (as I did earlier) 'Not great.' Then they'll think, 'well he's good looking and dresses great, so it doesn't really matter.'
So for this exam I wore a blue denim-look All Saints shirt, and stone rolled up chinos, and a tan slashed leather belt, and purple and yellow striped Jack Wills socks, and brown leather deck shoes.
My life at the moment is literally:
Go to library
Go back to library
1 hour of t.v
Until the 28th May at 11am, then i'm getting wasted.
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Friday, 14 May 2010
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Monday, 10 May 2010
I just found this and wish i'd found it earlier, because revision is getting me down. This is a site that has a list of some UK universites and people post there about fit people they see and hope they reply. All the names, Parkinson, Edward Boyle etc. are libraries, and clusters are computer rooms, are locations around the uni. No wonder people never get work done, this is hilarious, and the filth people put on there is great.
'Bodington Hall cluster (General) Male, blond hair. Just walked in in a white t-shirt. I am about to go home and masturbate and need a name to go with the face?'
If you're wondering about the talent where I am, go to Leeds.
Saturday, 8 May 2010
I finished all my labs and lectures today. By the time i'd got round to writing up all my reports and getting them marked I'd just had enough.
Just mark what i've written down.
But you have hardly any product in this assignment.
Seriously, I don't care, take marks off me, I just want to get these marked so I don't have to come in this afternoon.
At this point the lab demonstrator, a post-graduate who was standing near, laughed. The same guy who said to me earlier:
Woah! your quiff's got bigger.
If anything it needs to get bigger than it is. In fact i'm going to get it so big I can fold it back onto itself and put it into a ponytail.
The police finally caught up with me 2 days ago so i'm in the police station reception waiting for Julie to come down to get me to make a statement, and a male police officer walks in:
Which one of you has been smoking weed?
Keep in mind that there is another gentleman in the reception with me wearing tracksuit bottoms and a nike sleeveless sports shirt, looking totally fucked and like he hasn't worked a day in his life.
So I presume the officer is joking; and I laugh. But he actually starts walking towards me.
Well it's not me. Are you actually being serious?
He walks towards the other young gentleman and takes a nice whiff of him.
At this point Julie arrives and takes me off to a very small room with 4 chairs, an electric fan, and telephone, and no windows, which I find confusing.
So I give my statement to the witness statement officer, who spells 'assaulted' wrong, and spends no less than 60 seconds trying to figure out a way of describing a bin, settling on 'a permanent city centre bin'. Seriously woman, just leave me and i'll fill this form in myself while you have a cup of tea and talk about your favourite Britain's Got Talent contestant, you stupid cunt.
Cut to 4 hours later and I've been persuaded to go out for a relatively close friend's birthday in an awful place. We're at her house, and her actual friends have been bitching about her for giving them a list of dresses to choose from for her birthday. My housemate is one of these friends and although providing money for said dress, has no idea which one it is. Birthday girl opens it, with much fake excitement, and it turn out the dress is the exact same as one that one of my Girl Housemate's is wearing. We manage to keep quiet about this as Birthday Girl goes upstairs to put the dress on, which she's been planning on wearing for her night out for a week. She comes downstairs in the dress and one Girl Housemate shouts:
----- you look gorgeous! But look! ----- has the exact same dress!!!! hahahahahaha
Now this is probably the most exciting thing that's happened in my life so I take a front row seat and observe the very humiliating public awkwardness as my housemate says:
It's okay though, i'm wearing a blazer.
And Birthday Girl says nothing and walks into the kitchen.
Needless to say, after we left Birthday Girl's house we didn't see her again in the club.
Also can I say what I posted on my FB status no less that 1 hours ago:
All the worst music + one location = -------
I haven't been to this place since early last year and thank fucking god. The 'indie' room, for the 15 minutes I was there, played Nirvana (oh god), blink 182 (are we 12?), B.I.G (really?) and some awful compilation remix of eminem (kill me now).
While I was there though I found a friend of mine who brought her friend who'd slept with a guy I was dancing with. And this girl ha left the guy alone in her bedroom the morning after until he left, which I found hilarious because he thinks he's god's gift to female students (which i'd probably agree with because he's just my type). So we were hoping with all our might that my friend's friend would come and find her there and see the guy and we could just stand back and watch all sorts of sexual awkward tension go down, but sadly it never happened.
So I went to find other housemates, they dragged me to the main room, which were playing 5ive ( and if you don't know who that is thank yourself lucky). so I told them I couldn't stay any longer and left.
On the way home I threw up no less than 3 times, I blame that place, i'm only ever sick after being there. I think it's the pheromones of unattractive men, bad music, and under dressed girls.
And i'm thinking that's not a bad stream of consciousness for a drunk Andy
Thank you, and goodnight.
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Another terrible nights sleep.
I fall asleep at 1.30am to the noise of my television because I needed something to drown out the thoughts of work in my head. I wake up at 3.13am and drift in and out of consciousness until 7.45. The strange haluciogenic dreames continued:
Swimming pools and robot animals and cartoon birds and my father and paper raining down and amber lights and some sort of death, life or soul, and my teeth and running my hands through a pile of gold coins.
So I told a housemate this morning and she's giving me some sleeping pills of hers tonight.
Oh, and some pictures i've collected over the past week:
One of them's a facebook picture of one of my mates, i'm sure you can tell which one. I thought it was a great picture so I saved it.
And welcome to the new followers and anyone else lured here by FMS.
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Last night was maybe the worst nights sleep of my life, and that's counting when I took a gram of coke last year. I got to sleep at maybe 1.30am and woke up at 5.15am. I'd dreamt that my family cat had eaten a guinea pig that we don't actually own but did in my dream. And the guinea pig was a fat bastard and was choking my cat as it tried to swallow it. And I was trying to put my fingers down my cat throat and blood was coming out of it's mouth.
And I also remember dreaming being at a fairground and watching a ride like this:detach from the arms all Final Destination stylee and watching as it flew across the sky. And I could see injured people, so I got out my phone but instead of dialling 999 I just stared, curious at what they would do. Yeah, fucked up right. I think i'm pretty fucking stressed.
So i lay in bed at 5.15am, and I lay there until my alarm sounds at 7.45am. So I take a shower and walk to uni at 8.45 so I can start on work that i've just finished; almost 15 hours later.
So have a great few days, and pray for me, or send me healing waves, or sacrifice a small country animal, whatever you believe in. But i'll be back in a few days.
Yeah DJ Doorly, the DJ whose gig I met Mark at. Good job I don't connect his music to that night because Mark never text me back.
Monday, 3 May 2010
I get to J's at 9pm and pick his cousin up on the way. A bottle of wine went down nicely and I was chatting to his mum for a bit while she was smoking weed. She started suffering from some weird pain in her face that she had a few years ago, and she had no pain killers left.
We leave J's at 11pm and get into the city. We go to one place that's too quiet so leave and go somewhere else first. I don't know if it was 4 nights of drinking that made me think people were acting weird, or if it's just because there were some fucking weird people out.
One guy came up to me:
Could I hang around with you for a bit? My mates left me.
And then some girl with half a shaved head just comes and stands in front of me a little later while i'm rolling a cigarette. She doesn't say anything but she's looking right at me so I figure I need to speak in order to get her away from me.
Hey, you ok?
She just nods and smiles.
Ok, well you have a good night, i'm going before you kill me.
So we go back to the first place we went and meet J's boyfriend and his mate. We're waiting for the drag show because we know one of the drag queens. It completely confuses me when I see him sometimes because the first few times I met him he wasn't in drag, and he's really good looking and not camp at all. So then when I see him in drag it makes me trip out because he makes such a good woman; he's like, really pretty. I think I fancy him when he's in drag but I don't think about it much in case I get a complex.
Anyway i'm stood at the bar and I can see at least 4 people around the place looking at me. 1 was just staring at me and I kept catching the eyes of 3 other people when I'd look at them, and they'd quickly turn away. So the drag guy walks in from the back dressed as Marilyn Monroe and comes over to us at the bar. While we're chatting to him....her, I can see the 4 people still looking at me so I ask the drag if he knows them because they're being weird at me.
Because you're looking extra good tonight honey.
And he strokes his hand down the centre of my back which tickles and makes me quiver, which was pretty embarrassing.
about 30 minutes later the show starts and the bar's packed. People keep dancing into me and bumping me when they walk past and it's fucking annoying. 1 girl barges right into my back as she's walking past so I decide to make an example of her so people will stay a fucking foot away from me.
I turn around and shout down her ear.
The words hissed out of my mouth and slapped her across the face; satisfying. She looks at me and obviously didn't assess me properly because she says:
She rolled her head when she said it which annoyed me even more.
And fucking what? watch where you're going and fuck off!
She looked to her male friend who had been watching but he pretended he wasn't paying attention, probably because J was standing right behind me and he's a big guy. She pretty much ran away and J was pissing himself laughing. For the rest of the show we had a nice little private circle on the dance floor which no one penetrated.
Just as we were about to leave I saw a guy I used to know. I've not seen him for about 10 months and I know it was because he did something shitty to me or maybe a friend, but I can't remember exactly. He's gotten fat, which was great for me so then I could do this: I finished my drink as we were walking out, I went to put my drink down right behind where he was stood so I kind of leaned over him, looked at his stomach, then laughed in his face. Then we left.
I just read that back and I wonder how anyone puts up with me doing shit like this haha. Maybe I shouldn't go out 4 nights in a row again if this is how I act on the last night.
And i'm sending out love to ForMySake, because I found his blog the other week and it's now one of my favourites.
Sunday, 2 May 2010
An Italian meal and 2 bottles of wine. And an amaretto for dessert because they have spirits on the menu. 14 of us leave and go to Curls' work place (who's now left for Ibiza with Fox to work for god knows how long). 2 drinks and then we go next door to my usual place. New girl Zoe says she's going to a place for bank holiday that makes me think she does a lot of drugs, and she also says she gets paid £10 an hour to club dance on platforms, and she also says she's 'queen of the gays' and gets my number so we can go out. I tell her i'm not much of a gay so she shouldn't get her hopes up. I just like cock.
And the manager's wasted like she usually is, and her boyfriend tells me he knows a guy he wants me to go on a date with because 'when I think of him he reminds me of you, I think you'd be great; he's a swimmer.' I tell him i'd need to meet him before we go on a proper date.
At 11.45pm we leave and go to watch a friend's gig who works with us.
I run out of money so I have to pay on my card, adding a shot of tequila so it's over £5 so I can pay. And I hear that Carl who used to work with us went on a date with the area manager who's out with us. Then I see them kissing, and Carl's definitely going to regret it. Plus, he's way too cool for her; and she's a bitch. They end up going back to her hotel room.
At 2am we leave for somewhere else, and 2 people say I am their favourite person from work, and I think they're both pretty awesome. I tell one of them i've seen her vagina on her boyfriend's photography website. The other is the manager's boyfriend, who everyone calls Broom, and he's a fucking funny guy so I appreciate it.
I ask for The Smiths but the DJ doesn't have any; I don't mind, he's playing great music.
Someone who I used to work with asks me how long i've been sleeping with the other gay guy and I tell him loads and loads when in fact it's none. And some guy who we don't know laughs when he asks because he thinks he's insulting me, so we turn round and stare at him until he walks away. A guy behind the bar tells me we look like we're a lot of fun and I say 'you should see us when there's a birthday.'
We leave at 3.30am and meet some guys outside and invite them back to someones house. We don't see them again. Now there's only 4 of us: manager, manager's boyfriend, and guy who used to work with me. We get a taxi back to the guy's house, and we can't find anywhere open to get more alcohol. I'm still not feeling drunk and tell someone I think i'm becoming alcoholic. 'I've drank 2 bottles of wine, and an amaretto, and about 4 pints of lager and 5 pints of cider and a shot.' He tells me it's fine because i've had a meal.
We get near the guy's house and stop so we can find somewhere to get drugs because of the lack of alcohol. We nearly kick the shit out of some guy who said he's get us ketamine and then, after 20 minutes of us waiting, asked us who we think we are. The manager calms things down. We go back to the house and I scan through some CDs and put on Yeah Yeah Yeahs-It's Blitz!
I find a bottle of wine and share it with the manager then leave at 5.30am when they go to find a petrol station that's open.
And now I still feel a little tipsy, but I have to drive back to Manchester and buy a card on the way for my sister's birthday tomorrow. I need to nap when I get there but I doubt it will happen so i'll find something to keep me awake for tonight.
Saturday, 1 May 2010
We went to the nearby pub, and left 2 minutes later because it was too busy. We went to another pub, I drank 3 ciders. At midnight we got a taxi and went to my usual place. None of us were drunk so we just sat in a booth and talked, and drank. At 2am it felt like 9pm so we were ready to move on and start getting drunk. We went to Stone Roses bar and it was great. It must have had some sort of Manchester theme which I appreciated. I caught the end of what looked like a good fight between 2 guys on the dancefloor. The bouncers didn't seem to give a shit. I danced to Oasis and The Cure and The Smiths and Sunshine Underground. I went out for a cigarette and noticed I had blood down my top. I have no idea where this came from because I wasn't involved in the fight but my housemate told me I was standing in the middle of it near the end so it probably came from there. People looked at me with fear for the rest of the night, it was great.
We left at 4.30am with 3 guys in tow. We got home, drank more, played music, talked. 2 of the 3 guys were hot, but 1 of them fell asleep around 5.30. I went to bed at 7am. And now it's almost 6pm and I have to be out by 8pm for a meal with work people and then more drinking. I can't do this like I used to. 2 years ago I could manage 9 nights out in a row, now 2 has me wishing I could just stay in bed.
Oh, and i've been scaring the shit out of everyone today. My housemate did a photo shoot for a friend yesterday and kept the contact lenses they used. So I put them in.