I'm back in Manchester until Friday. I don't mind coming home, free hot food, heating, friends. But I have a single bed, and I can't do everything I want. My mum's very relaxed, it's not like I have a curfew, but I can't act as recklessly as normal, or smoke in the house, or bring people round at any time of the night. I need to start studying for my final exams.
A:Good afternoon Andrew. Want to go to velvet tonight for something to eat? J can't come but shall we invite ----. That could be cute. Me:As cute as a cat in a blender. We'll reschedual.
I haven't moved much in the past 5 hours. I stood under a too-hot shower for 25 minutes. I finished Less Than Zero. I smoked 6 cigarettes. I talked to J on the phone. I drank 500ml of orange and pinapple juice. I listened to Okkervil River and Page France and The Smiths and Tegan and Sara and Ra Ra Riot and Laura Marling and Jónsi. I've still not eaten. I'm feeling alright.
I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me. 'What's wrong with you? Are you ill? Do you have a fever? Why are you acting weird?' asked Girl Housemate last night. 'I don't know, I feel like I'm going a bit crazy but I don't know why.' On Sunday night/Monday morning when I was in the stage of consciousness and sleep i had a strange, scary dream/hallucination. It involved someone chewing on my fingers, talking echoeygibberish. It was freaking me out but i couldn't get out of it. When i finally did I thought I could see figures and shapes all around my room. After that I didn't get to sleep until 5am. early afternoon on Monday was relatively normal, I went into work for the picture, went shopping, returned the library book then headed home. As soon as i got back into bed i felt exhausted. I lay in bed for at least 4 hours in silence but I couldn't get to sleep; it was frustrating. I got back up at 7pm and went downstairs where Girl Housemates were. I picked up a take-away menu that I've ordered from 40 times before, always the same thing. I scanned the menu but i couldn't remember what it was i always have. I ask Girl Housemate 'what do i usually have?' That's when she asked 'What's wrong with you? Are you ill? Do you have a fever? Why are you acting weird?' I ordered my food and lay on the couch. Food came, I ate. I kind of watched The Truman Show, told Girl Housemates we need to find something to do tomorrow, and then went back to bed. Today I'm feeling more sane, but I don't know what to do with myself. I have no classes, no work, no anything. I'm downloading some music: Okkervil River, Page France, The Sounds. Listening to these will hopefully fill my day, along with reading, eating and showering.
It's 9.30pm and a taxi pulls up outside my house with 1 of my favourite people in and her friend. The friend is incessantly telling me that she's on the hunt for a BLADD (businessman, lawyer, accountant, doctor or dentist) tonight. She's already getting on my nerves. We send the taxi to call lane, it arrives, we dive into a bar and I swiftly get hold of a carona. Ellie Goulding's Starry Eyed Jakwob remix comes on and I fall in love with this place. I'm on the hunt for a J G-L lookalike exactly like the picture. It's moderately busy so we decide to stay awhile until it gets uncomfortably busy. By that time I've had 4 more drinks, but I'm not feeling the effects. We leave and go to the bar next door, with the same prices, music and people. It's just as satisfying. The rest of my group are wasted by 11.30 but I'm only slightly tipsy. It's always a problem. It is decided that we head to a club nearby. On the way my friend falls over nothing and cuts her knee. When we enter the club it's bleeding and a bouncer call her over and says she needs to go to the medical room. Great, I'm now stuck with her annoying friend who's gotten more annoying with alcohol. She didn't find her BLADD (i didn't find my J G-L) so she's in a mood.
'It's soooo cold' 'No it's not' 'What the hell is this music?' 'It's Elton John' It's really quiet, this is rubbish' 'Please stop talking'
My friend comes back, they've put a plaster on her knee and given her a tetnus shot, what the fuck. We drink and dance and find other people we know. I leave at 2.30am.
I get into work today and my manager tells me she's handed in her notice after the owner of the shop sent her some rediculous e-mails. I read them.
(these are reworded but give the general idea) My manager had sent a very detailed plan to the owner about giving staff an allowance for uniform so that they're wearing the shop's clothes. The owner sends her back a 1-worded e-mail: DENIED
Is this guy serious? Who the fuck does he think he is speaking to people like that.
My manager also sent an e-mail about an in-store fashion show we'd organised for charity but had to cancel because we didn't get any help from the company for flyers, tickets etc. Manager:'We have decided to cancel the fashion show because we've not received any support in terms of money for advertising.....'
Owner:'Who are 'we'? Why do you use the royale we? It is YOU........ Also can you send me a detailed report explaining your poor takings yesterday, maybe you should concentrate on picking up sales instead of sitting in your office writing e-mails that intend to offend and make me mad.'
This is the owner who was speaking to one of my supervisors about the staff and said: 'That girl with the big tits' 'She's called Laura' 'Yeah, the one with the big tits' 'No, she's called Laura' 'Yeah, anyway....'
Thank god i'm leaving this place in a month. Everyone in the actual shop is great, but the management of this company are all fucking idiots and don't deserve people like us working there. I'm staying in Leeds for another week with 4 Girl Housemates to sort some things out, then heading back to Manchester whenever I'm not working. Tonight consists of Ben & Jerry's frozen yoghurt and a film. Tomorrow I need to hand a book back to the library, go into work for a staff picture, and buy a top I've seen in Zara.
I've bought Stephen Fry-Making History and Bret Easton Elis-Less Than Zero to read over Easter.
It's Easter break :) I've not had a chance to write down what's been happening lately. I've had large amounts of work to do counting down until the holidays; my dissertation has been handed in, as soon as i finished I couldn't stop smiling. I'm staying in tonight, getting some Ben & Jerry's frozen yoghurt and watching The Hurt Locker. I went to watch Alice in Wonderland last week, enjoyed it, wasn't amazing but I wasn't bored at any point. Also went to see Shutter Island, slightly dissapointed. It was an OK film, but I predicted the ending after about 30 minutes.
I went back to Manchester last Sunday for mother's day. Went to the pub in the evening with J and few others. Then went out on Tuesday for a friend's 21st. We saw this girl who J used to be really good friends with. She stole some money from his house so they fell out, understandable. So she was being really sarcastic and arrogant while we were in this one club, she sent over some free shots. J said he wasn't going to drink any so i downed all 3. She walked past and called J 'fucking immature'. I don't really have a problem with her; J is over what happened, he doesn't care, but he obviously still doesn't want to be friends with her. She chatted to me a few times and I told her to just forget about it, if she doesn't speak to him he won't speak to her and then they can both get on with whatever they want. After we left that club and went to another, she was in there again. I was dancing and saw J getting annoyed at 3 or 4 girls. When he came over he said one of them had poured their drink down his back but he didn't know which, they were his ex-friends mates. I don't really give a fuck about shit like this so I didn't get involved. On Wednesday I did a little pub crawl in celebration of St. Patrick's Day. We went back to our house around 12am, carried on drinking then headed to a house party at about 1. It was small and lame. Everyone was in a 5x5m room, with the lights on, and some crappy DJ stuffed into a corner. We left after 20 minutes and headed back to ours. I saw my cousins mate while we were at the pub so he came round with a few mates after the house party. We all ended up staying awake until around 7am, needless to say i missed labs on Thursday.
Still no update on Mark, I texted him on Wednesday when i was wasted but not heard back. I'm not really sure what's going on there, he was really keen the first time we met, but I think he's either in the closet or just curious, and alcohol made him a bit more confident that night we met.
I'm just happy i have a month off now, I have work to do but I'm not going to be stressed about having to get it done really quick. I'm hoping to get back to Manchester quite a bit over Easter whenever I'm not working. I'm also going to pick a book from my list to read over the holidays :) Oh, i love time off.