Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Moved out.
Back at home in a tiny room with too many belongings. But at least I have my mother's motown record collection and her boyfriend's huge collection of Ska and The Clash and The Doors and The Smiths and The Stranglers. I need to find a record player on eBay for myself.

I missed out on the required number of credits for my final year so it looks like i'll be taking exams next January and May as an external student. I won't need to attend any lectures so I can stay home and get a job.

I was willingly forced upon last Saturday....i'll explain when I have time.

Saturday, 26 June 2010

Pre-Night Headshot

I'm deciding whether or not to keep this expression on my face while stood in a corner downing doubles.

Oh, and
Pretty much the only good song on Plastic Beach.

Friday, 25 June 2010

I dreamt about you last night.

And I fell out of bed twice.

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Beautiful Crazy

I've lost all recognition of dates, days and times. This account is over the past 2 weeks, I think.

A Saturday. At 11am I drive A Girl Housemate and I to Manchester. I pick up another Girl Housemate there, then head to a friend's house to pick up tickets to Parklife then drive back in a huge cirlce to another of our friend's houses where we're staying that night.
We get there at 3pm and queue for about 35 minutes for the toilet and then 45 minutes for the bar. We find a space a fair bit in front of the main stage and listen to Calvin Harris' crappy DJ set. This causes me to drop a bomb of MDMA. I see a girl dancing on a pizza box, taking care not to fall. During a quiet part in a song I hear her chanting 'lava lava everywhere, don't fall in, there's lava lava everywhere.'
Hours pass and we meet up with a group of mates and watch Friendly Fires play, and I take a key of MCat. I catch the eye of a girl I went to college with as she's waving at me. I feel obliged to go over. Awkward chit-chat ensues and I quickly make my escape.
Minutes or hours later and I'm stood waiting for someone at the bar. Some boy comes over and asks for a cigarette. I let him roll one from my supplies. He talks and I listen.
We leave in the early hours and go back to the house and drink until about 5am.

I wake up at 11.30am and get breakfast cooked for me. I leave the house at 3pm with 2 Girl Housemates and my Sat Nav directing me to Sandbanks in Dorset. 6 hours later, thanks to a fucking crash on the motorway, we arrive. A 3 bedroom apartment 30 seconds walk away from the beach. Already there are 6 girls and 3 boys. We just watch t.v and catch up.
10.30am the next morning and one boy is smoking weed on the patio, so I get a cider and join him. 2 hours later we head to some landmark that apparently shows perfect erosion. I don't know, i'm not into Geography, but it looked good. We find a beach and A and I swim through an arch. On the way back around the current prevents us from being able to swim forward, I literally think my arms are going to detach. Feeling seaweed over my feet doesn't help matters so I summon one last burst of depleating energy and finally make it back to beach. I see a tall, tanned, dark-haired sex-god has arrived with what I presume is his girlfriend and another couple. I spend the next hour watching him lark about in the sea in tiny black trunk. This is a holiday.
Early evening, and I open my 70cl bottle of vodka. We have a couple of rounds of the name game; i'm Orson Wells and then Arnold Schwarzenegger. I wake up fully clothed in bed at 9.30am and can't remember the last part of the night. I'm surprisingly not hungover and head to the kitchen to see the remains of my vodka. There's no more than a shot left. I have a shower and sit outside in the sun reading Fierce People. At 11.30am I drink a pint of cider and get wasted. Ahh that's why I wasn't feeling hungover, I was still drunk, it's a state of being.
3 days later? With much more alcohol and food consumed I get in my car with 2 Girl Housemate's and head back to Leeds. We stay there for a night then drive to Manchester for a birthday.

It's a Friday night and we head to the village for a meal then onto a Northern Soul night. I become obsessed with watching 3 skinheads dancing like speed junkies dressed in Dr Martens and roll up skinny fit jeans and braces. We meet a 50-something called Francis who was a drummer in some Northern glam rock in the 80's. He ends up coming back to the place we're staying along with 6 or 7 other club kids where we drink and listen to Morrissey vinyls.
The next day we go to birthday girl's family home for a party. I listen to her uncle talk about his 6 months in prison for driving at 2 security guards. I listen to her mother tell me I'm the son she always wanted. I watch her aunt dance to The Smiths. I tell her boyfriend that he's doing really well for his first time meeting the family. We leave at 10pm and go to a 60's night. I get chatted to by some boy outside who asks for my number. I tell him I have a boyfriend. The night ends at some point and we go back to birthday girl's house.

It's Sunday, Father's day, and I get a bus into the centre of the city to meet my dad and his girfriend, and her mum, dad, brother, sister-in-law, and 2 nieces, and my sister and 3 year old half brother. We watch some parade and then get chinese food.
What's that? asks my brother, pointing to my shredded duck.
It's duck.
Like....quack duck?
Yeah, like in the park. Want some?!
Messing up kids' heads is fun for me.

I get back to my family home in the early evening and spend the next 3 days eating strawberries and drink my mother's Moet as I watch tennis. Yesterday I went to J's and drank and watched the football. Now i'm back in Leeds.

My degree results have been up in University for a week but I'm not going in to get them until Monday because I want to have a fun weekend.

Thank god that is over. Back to regular tranmission.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

I'm back.
But i'm gone again tomorrow.
I'll be back again on Sunday.
I'll have lots of text and photo to post.

Friday, 11 June 2010


Last night was strangely eventful.

VW text me 2 days ago:
I'm backk x x
I didn't know he'd been anywhere, and i've not seen him for like 5 months. Ignore.

Last night:
Hey gorgeous how u x

Hey u x
Ahh! Ignore

A call from a blocked number 20 minutes later. Blatantly him. THIS is why i stopped things with him.

Mr rude boi :-P
He definitely can't take a hint.

And then there was Parker:
Parker:Going home 4 summer 2morra. Last fuck? x
Eerm there was never a first haha, obviously drunk.

Me:Haha what?
Parker:Haha, bored horny n most of all want hugs! Lol. U wanna come ova? B nice 2 c ya x
Me:I was asleep, no way i'm getting out of bed sorry. Should've text me earlier :)
I lied. I hadn't been asleep, but i'd been laying in bed for 4 hours trying to. Plus a few week ago I saw he'd put something about voting Conservative on his facebook. I'm not gonna sleep with someone I know votes Conservative. I'm not providing sex for someone with such ridiculous political views. Well I probably would, but I was tired and there was no way I was getting dressed and walking to his flat.

Parker: Just come's my last night in leeds till sept. Sooner you get outta bed sooner you'll be here :)
Me:I'm asleeeeep

I put my phone on vibrate.
Missed call from Parker.
And another....
Oh God.

I turn my phone off.

I get to sleep some time after 6am.

I just want to graduate and leave Leeds. I need a new place, new people.
I'm just waiting for a housemate to get home so fun week can begin.

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Thank Fuck It's A Day

I'm going to be busy tomorrow. And I'm going to a one day festival on Saturday and then driving to Bournmouth on Sunday to meet all my housemates +people for an end of Uni shin dig in a flat one housemate's parents own. I'm staying there until Thursday.

Ellliot Titterson is in Shameless (set not that far from my family home, and depicted pretty accurately)
He likes posing like this:
And goes all gay in this film:

And has an identical twin brother:
And a girl I know sucked his dick about a year and a half ago and she said it was massive.
So I'm obviously in love with him.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Tuesday, 8 June 2010


I'm so ill.
I've watched 16 episodes of Grey's Anatomy in the past 24 hours. It's not stopping now.

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Summer Ball + Last Night

T'was Friday, and at 9pm we made our way to the University to catch a coach to Latherton Hall. I looked like this throughout the night:

And we arrived and it looked like this:

We got into an area with fairground rides surrounded by food vans, portaloos and 5 large tents. We made our way to the bar tent and I got a bottle of wine to keep me satisfied for the night. I saw a few hundred people I know and we sat in an area outside chatting and drinking. At 1am we made our way to the main tent to watch Florence and the Machine. Most people managed to lose each other and now I was only with 3 other people. Florence didn't come on until 1.40am, 40 minutes late. How hard is it to keep on time?
So she sang some songs and it was great.

But then this happened:
And she got back on stage after crowd surfing.
Whoever just touched me like that should be ashamed! You don't touch women like that! You bastard!
Then she ran off stage for a minute, came back on with her make-up running down her face and said I'm going to carry on because I don't want 1 person to ruin it for everyone. Eerm Flo, by one person you mean YOU right? Get a fucking grip, you just jumped into a crowd of horny students, so what if someone tried to slip in a finger, you brought it on yourself and I doubt you got pregnant from it. Despite all this I thought she put on a great show, her voice is pretty amazing live.
After this the rest of night was spent trying to find people, which we partly accomplished, having gained 5 other people. At 4.15am we decided to get the coach home. We arrived back at our house and found 1 girl housemate lying on our front steps. She'd lost everyone, didn't bring a key or phone, so decided to go home at 12.30am. I lost everyone for 30 minutes but I just walked around until I found someone, it wasn't hard, we knew a lot of people there.

Last night. I met 7 people from where I used to work. I looked like this:

And sent that to Jon, because we've been texting recently.
One Italian meal later and i'm back in my usual bar but somehow it's filled with annoying orange girls and self obsessed men. So we leave and go to another bar where we dance to T-rex and The Undertones and Stevie Wonder and Johnny Cash. A friend knows a barman so we get a bottle of wine and countless other drinks free.
I go out for a cig and a tall blond boy comes up to me.
You wanna hear something funny?
I'll brace myself.
I saw you from the back and thought you were ---------.
Oh, ok.
You look a lot like him.
For once I take a compliment because the person i'm being compared to is hot.
Thank you.
You've got a great personality too.
He knew this from our 10 second conversation apparently.
Thank you.
You're a good looking boy :)
I finish my cig half way through and go back inside in case i start falling in love.
The night ends at 3am and I go home, text Jon for about an hour then pass out.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Last Night

I go to K's at 9.30pm. She welcomes me to the door.
'Where the fuck have you been?'
'What do you mean? You said be here by 9....'
'I needed you here by 9 so you could open my wine bottle for me. I've been sat here ready for 30 minutes with no alcohol.'
'Oh shut up K, you're such an alcoholic. Now let's get wasted.'
We're waiting for S to get driven back from Manchester. By the time she arrives at 11.30 me and K are pretty tipsy but thankfully S had almost finished off a bottle of wine in the car.
We head out and decide to go to a bar near the club to check how busy it is. No queue at the club so we sit in the bar. K is getting chatted up by some 40 year old man in a suit and his 37 year old friend is telling me about his 2 sons and how they love camping. And then he tells me I should go camping with him some time. I politely declined and told him I was allergic to grass. I probably would have taken him up on his offer if he was better looking.
While all this is going on S has been downing cocktails and is now drunker than K and I put together. So we say our goodbyes and K's guy hands her his business card. And then both of them hand me their business cards. I have no idea what the fuck's going on. The cards both say they're vice presidents of some firm I don't know. My camping guy is the vice president of finance.
So anyway, we leave and get to the club. I down 2 drinks straight away but regret it as soon as they're gone. I order 2 more drinks and we head to the edge of the dance floor. We finish our drinks then go into the middle of the crowded floor. I'm feeling pretty fucked now but I had a bad nights sleep the night before and now it's 1.15am and i'm feeling tired.
I head to the toilet and see a girl off my course. I know she's become a drug head so I tell her to give me some of her Mcat but she says her friends got it and tries to find him. She used to be really normal, she used to judge me for smoking. And now in the last 8 months she stopped going to any classes and is having to retake her final year next year. And now she takes a lot of drugs and looks like a total crack head. Sucks for her but it's good to know these sorts of people. Firstly; because they can give you drugs. Secondly; because they're always worse off than you so it makes you feel better.
I end up losing her and then we go home at 2.15am.
K and I live close but S lives a little further away so we're a little wary leaving her with the taxi man. We both give him a good talking to and we text her every minute to make sure she's alive.
Are you home???
What's your middle name??
Mariam! xx
Ok, i believe you. I'm glad you didn't get raped.

Now i'm just waiting for 2 housemates to eat soup so we can go and sit in the park and I can read Kafka.

Tuesday, 1 June 2010


The text version.

I finished my exam at 11am on Friday morning and was in the student bar by 11.15am with a drink in my hand. I was with 7 people from my course although I only like 2 of them. I stay until 2.30pm, having consumed 4 drinks, and make my way home. I have 36 cans of pear cider waiting for me and nothing to do but drink them all. I sit in the sun with 2 housemates for an hour or 2 and we drink and listen to music. Then people start to arrive and we say our hellos and ask the same questions:
'how are you?'
'have you finished your exams?'
'how'd they go?'
'ready to get wasted?'
Soon our house has 40 people spread over the bottom floor. We start a bbq and play some games: throw a rugby ball to each other in a circle, if you drop it you go down on one knee, then two, then one hand behind your back, then lie on your front, then on your back, then you're out. It doesn't last long, so then we play a classic game of british bulldog. I win the first game by pushing someone into our fence.
It's midnight and i've drank 14 cans and replayed my iTunes playlist Club Kids twice. 3 housemates and I decide to go out. We get a taxi, pay £6 into the club, dance for 30 minutes and then I leave leave with one housemate. I couldn't cope with the crowd. So we return home and carry on with whoever was left there. I get to bed around 5.30am and sleep for 5 hours.

I wake up on Sunday to a text from J:
Do you fancy going to the Beer Walk today? We're all going. It'll be the perfect way to celebrate your exams. We're leaving my house at 1pm. Drive back to Manchester now.
Ok, i'll get my shit together, be at yours at 12.30.
Good, we've got a surprise for you, hope you don't mind looking ridiculous.
I always look ridiculous.

So I get my shit together and drive back to Manchester. I get to J's and am presented with a white boiler suit with spray painted black stripes, and a pair of tights with 2 holes to put over my head. Great, now I don't have to care about how awful I look. We leave to go to the starting point in a village about 20 minutes away. We join the 3000 or so other people all in fancy dress and begin the 11 mile walk. I don't drink until the 3rd pub because, well, I feel like fucking shit. I start drinking, have a burger, and then I feel fine. I realise how much of a godsend this costume is because I see 3 or 4 people from high school who can't pick me out from the crowd because of my mask, so I don't have to say hi.
So we complete the walk, finishing at 7.45pm, not drunk at all because of the time walking between pubs, and head home. J and I decide to shower and get ready to go out to meet his boyfriend and a few of our friends. We get out at 11pm, go to a bar by ourselves for a drink first and then meet them.
I've probably said before that I don't particularly enjoy the gay scene here, so I tend to ignore anything strangers say to me or get annoyed quickly. Some short older guy puts his hand on my back while he's trying to get past me, this doesn't bother me. He looks up at me when he's in front and says 'oh wow, you're beautiful.' I occupy my blank stare face and just look straight ahead, because i'm a cunt.
Anyway, we dance and drink until 3am and then leave. 2 Of J's boyfriend's friends are very handsy when they see me and try to open my shirt, or crab my crotch, or kiss my face, or slap my ass, or dance like desperate strippers in front of me. But they do this every time so I'm used to it now and just laugh but it tends to grab peoples attention which I'm not too fond of.

Now. I'm back in Leeds. And I'm going out with my friends K and S tonight. And we have our university's summer ball this friday which I bought a suit for yesterday. Florence and the Machine are playing there, and then Doorly is DJing in one of the tents so I can't wait. Then I have a night out on Saturday I think with old work people.

I bought Kafka's 'The Trial' yesterday so I'm going to start reading that. I don't feel like carrying on with 'Making History' at the moment so i'll start that after.