Tuesday 23 March 2010

Black Sheep Boy


I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me. 'What's wrong with you? Are you ill? Do you have a fever? Why are you acting weird?' asked Girl Housemate last night. 'I don't know, I feel like I'm going a bit crazy but I don't know why.'
On Sunday night/Monday morning when I was in the stage of consciousness and sleep i had a strange, scary dream/hallucination. It involved someone chewing on my fingers, talking echoey gibberish. It was freaking me out but i couldn't get out of it. When i finally did I thought I could see figures and shapes all around my room. After that I didn't get to sleep until 5am. early afternoon on Monday was relatively normal, I went into work for the picture, went shopping, returned the library book then headed home.
As soon as i got back into bed i felt exhausted. I lay in bed for at least 4 hours in silence but I couldn't get to sleep; it was frustrating.
I got back up at 7pm and went downstairs where Girl Housemates were. I picked up a take-away menu that I've ordered from 40 times before, always the same thing. I scanned the menu but i couldn't remember what it was i always have. I ask Girl Housemate 'what do i usually have?' That's when she asked 'What's wrong with you? Are you ill? Do you have a fever? Why are you acting weird?' I ordered my food and lay on the couch. Food came, I ate. I kind of watched The Truman Show, told Girl Housemates we need to find something to do tomorrow, and then went back to bed.
Today I'm feeling more sane, but I don't know what to do with myself. I have no classes, no work, no anything. I'm downloading some music: Okkervil River, Page France, The Sounds. Listening to these will hopefully fill my day, along with reading, eating and showering.

I'm listening to:Laura Marling-Ghosts

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