Sunday evening.
I walk into the pub and see L and A sat at a table looking at menus. We hug and I sit, choosing a steak and ale pie and allow them to begin. They tell me the stories of their month long trip around Europe. 22 cities.
They tell me about the bouncers they met in Venice who gave them free drinks all night and offered to drive them around the city which they refused.
They tell me about the bar they went to under a church in Vienna that was only lit by candlelight.
They tell me about the hostel owners in Prague who greeted them with a hug every time they saw them.
And they tell me and tell me.
And I'm seething with jealousy.
Then they give me my present, 3 large pouches of tobacco, and I tell them it sounds wonderful.

We eat our meals and I hear more, and I tell them how nothing has happened while they've been away. We go outside for a cigarette and L snaps a polaroid of us that comes out with our faces whitewashed. She draws a sad face on the bottom and leaves it under the ash tray.

Texts between me and VW 04/12/10

You out?

In Leeds? I live in Manchester now...

No, Manchester, i've been moved with work, living in Alderly Edge.

Oh, well no, I'm not, how long you been in Manchester?

A week, fancy meeting up?

Maybe some time, just got a new job but not been paid yet.

Well if you fancy it drinks on me.

Thanks, but I pay my own way.

Lol ok ok.

So VW is back. Kind of thought that was ended; but now we're in the same city and I'm obviously still single and obviously still desperate for some kind of affection. And by affection I mean sexual encounter. It's been 5 months. Too long, way too long.

And the paying my own way comment. I don't. But I like to pretend I would.

08/12/10

So I guess it's been awhile. And for that I have no real reason other than 'I lost interest'.
But I feel like writing about recent happenings.

I walked into an interview for a supervisor role in a certain fashion retailer. I wore brown leather brogues, slim fit grey chinos, a grey, white buttoned, shirt (fully buttoned), and a navy sweater. I smiled and I charmed as I got asked tedious questions about simple things and lied about my passion for life.
I got a call the next day and was offered assistant manager. I accepted.
I trained in another store for 6 days, got invited to their christmas night out (the supervisor and manager who were also training didn't), and fought back the urge to swallow my phone when I received these texts from a boy who worked at my training store.

I don't want you to leave the ------- store :(

It has been fun, but i'll call in whenever I' near.

You better had, I'll hold you to that. This week has been hard, having so many people in the store and liking one of them does not help. Yeah, it's you :) Had to say it, sorry haha.

Thanks M, was great working with you.

My tactic is to tell unwanted suitors that I have a boyfriend, but this boy knew I didn't, after saying to me on the 3rd day: 'I don't want to make you awkward or anything but no one can tell if you're gay or straight...'

So then the Christmas night out was obviously made 5 times more stressful. I dragged J with me so at least I could run away with him, which I did.

And now I'm in my brand new store with staff I can tell what to do while I look in the mirror, or text message, or file through peaper work that has nothing to do with anything. Yeah, I'm one of them bosses.

One member of staff is signed to Base models; a totally fuckable Persian with the body of a greek god and dimples I could live in. Who's also a stripper a few nights a week, although I'm not supposed to know that.

My postings temporarily moved to tumblr while I was away, and although I've not posted on there in a few days I'll probably update it much more regularly than here because it's so much easier and I don't have to put any thoughts together.