Re-cap

Saturday:

JR and I miss the first train into Manchester because she's painting a rainbow on my arm and I'm painting a rainbow flower on her face.
We arrive, find a spot and see JD; the boy who has boundary issues. His friend hands me a card. It's asking me to apply to be a porn star.
'JD, where do you find these people?'

We meet up with my friend from uni and her 2 mates. I see a girl from Liverpool I used to work with. It's a gay ol' time and much fun was had.





Sunday:

L (ex-housemate) and I arrive at J's house at 6pm. We have 3 drinks then head into the city for around 7.30pm. We see a boy being dragged out of the Pride barriers as we arrive.
We get a drink from a bar and take it to the performance section (car park) because it's a great atmosphere. We watch Kelis' set (which was amazing, surprised me), drink and smoke lots, chat to everyone around us. I see a boy that J and I saw singing at an open mic night at a pub a few weeks earlier. We recognised him then and I thought it was because he was maybe 2 years above us in school. It seemed like he kind of knew who I was as well, I was sure my cousin knew him. So we saw him there and it got me excited. He's hella good looking, totally 'indie', very masculine, and above all that sings and plays the guitar. Hello. We couldn't really stand near to him but it was still light out so we found a spot and I positioned myself so I could see him. I found myself just staring at him, and we met eyes so many times, it seemed like he was trying to look at me too. Either he loved me or he was scared of me. I asked my cousin the day after but he had no idea who I was talking about.
We bar/club hopped until about 4am then stayed at J's house.
The next Morning L threw up and then came back into the bedroom:
'Andy, we have about 20 minutes until I throw up again, please, let's go now.'
(She's never been to J's house before and only met him once so she was kind of embarrassed.

Monday:
I go home, shower etc. and go back to J's at about 5pm for a barbecue with friends and family.
J's cousin, sister, and her 2 mates who are close friends all tell me they're so glad J and A are over. I'm slightly scared for A because if they saw him he'd probably be punched. They ask me if I still feel bad for telling him and I say no. They say I shouldn't be, it was the right thing to do. They'd expect any of the other to say anything if it happened to them.
We drink all evening and it ends up being me, J, J's father, J's mother, J's uncle, and a family friend all around the dining table at around 1am just chatting and drinking. When the rest go to bed J and I stay up for awhile talking. J shows me his profile on a gay site. He says he's quite excited to finally be single, and I hijack his laptop and browse the people (by closest first, obviously). J makes a profile for me, all it is so far is a username, I haven't written anything or put a photo up.

I'm going back to Leeds this weekend to see L's new flat. I'm going with a mutual friend and the weather's been great so we're going to sit in a field and have a picnic, get pissed, then go for Sunday lunch the next day.

Moved out.
Back at home in a tiny room with too many belongings. But at least I have my mother's motown record collection and her boyfriend's huge collection of Ska and The Clash and The Doors and The Smiths and The Stranglers. I need to find a record player on eBay for myself.

I missed out on the required number of credits for my final year so it looks like i'll be taking exams next January and May as an external student. I won't need to attend any lectures so I can stay home and get a job.

I was willingly forced upon last Saturday....i'll explain when I have time.

Beautiful Crazy

I've lost all recognition of dates, days and times. This account is over the past 2 weeks, I think.

A Saturday. At 11am I drive A Girl Housemate and I to Manchester. I pick up another Girl Housemate there, then head to a friend's house to pick up tickets to Parklife then drive back in a huge cirlce to another of our friend's houses where we're staying that night.
We get there at 3pm and queue for about 35 minutes for the toilet and then 45 minutes for the bar. We find a space a fair bit in front of the main stage and listen to Calvin Harris' crappy DJ set. This causes me to drop a bomb of MDMA. I see a girl dancing on a pizza box, taking care not to fall. During a quiet part in a song I hear her chanting 'lava lava everywhere, don't fall in, there's lava lava everywhere.'
Hours pass and we meet up with a group of mates and watch Friendly Fires play, and I take a key of MCat. I catch the eye of a girl I went to college with as she's waving at me. I feel obliged to go over. Awkward chit-chat ensues and I quickly make my escape.
Minutes or hours later and I'm stood waiting for someone at the bar. Some boy comes over and asks for a cigarette. I let him roll one from my supplies. He talks and I listen.
We leave in the early hours and go back to the house and drink until about 5am.


I wake up at 11.30am and get breakfast cooked for me. I leave the house at 3pm with 2 Girl Housemates and my Sat Nav directing me to Sandbanks in Dorset. 6 hours later, thanks to a fucking crash on the motorway, we arrive. A 3 bedroom apartment 30 seconds walk away from the beach. Already there are 6 girls and 3 boys. We just watch t.v and catch up.
10.30am the next morning and one boy is smoking weed on the patio, so I get a cider and join him. 2 hours later we head to some landmark that apparently shows perfect erosion. I don't know, i'm not into Geography, but it looked good. We find a beach and A and I swim through an arch. On the way back around the current prevents us from being able to swim forward, I literally think my arms are going to detach. Feeling seaweed over my feet doesn't help matters so I summon one last burst of depleating energy and finally make it back to beach. I see a tall, tanned, dark-haired sex-god has arrived with what I presume is his girlfriend and another couple. I spend the next hour watching him lark about in the sea in tiny black trunk. This is a holiday.
Early evening, and I open my 70cl bottle of vodka. We have a couple of rounds of the name game; i'm Orson Wells and then Arnold Schwarzenegger. I wake up fully clothed in bed at 9.30am and can't remember the last part of the night. I'm surprisingly not hungover and head to the kitchen to see the remains of my vodka. There's no more than a shot left. I have a shower and sit outside in the sun reading Fierce People. At 11.30am I drink a pint of cider and get wasted. Ahh that's why I wasn't feeling hungover, I was still drunk, it's a state of being.
3 days later? With much more alcohol and food consumed I get in my car with 2 Girl Housemate's and head back to Leeds. We stay there for a night then drive to Manchester for a birthday.



It's a Friday night and we head to the village for a meal then onto a Northern Soul night. I become obsessed with watching 3 skinheads dancing like speed junkies dressed in Dr Martens and roll up skinny fit jeans and braces. We meet a 50-something called Francis who was a drummer in some Northern glam rock in the 80's. He ends up coming back to the place we're staying along with 6 or 7 other club kids where we drink and listen to Morrissey vinyls.
The next day we go to birthday girl's family home for a party. I listen to her uncle talk about his 6 months in prison for driving at 2 security guards. I listen to her mother tell me I'm the son she always wanted. I watch her aunt dance to The Smiths. I tell her boyfriend that he's doing really well for his first time meeting the family. We leave at 10pm and go to a 60's night. I get chatted to by some boy outside who asks for my number. I tell him I have a boyfriend. The night ends at some point and we go back to birthday girl's house.

It's Sunday, Father's day, and I get a bus into the centre of the city to meet my dad and his girfriend, and her mum, dad, brother, sister-in-law, and 2 nieces, and my sister and 3 year old half brother. We watch some parade and then get chinese food.
What's that? asks my brother, pointing to my shredded duck.
It's duck.
Like....quack duck?
Yeah, like in the park. Want some?
......no!
Messing up kids' heads is fun for me.

I get back to my family home in the early evening and spend the next 3 days eating strawberries and drink my mother's Moet as I watch tennis. Yesterday I went to J's and drank and watched the football. Now i'm back in Leeds.

My degree results have been up in University for a week but I'm not going in to get them until Monday because I want to have a fun weekend.

Thank god that is over. Back to regular tranmission.

08/06/10

I'm so ill.
I've watched 16 episodes of Grey's Anatomy in the past 24 hours. It's not stopping now.

27/05/10

Last day of studying for my last exam tomorrow. I hate sitting down knowing i'm going to be doing the same thing for the next 6+ hours. I hate constants.

17/05/10

I have my first final exam in less than 2 hours. Actually feeling ok about it. Need to carry on studying for my other exams after it but will probably have a nap.
My life at the moment is literally:
Get up
Get ready
Go to library
Have lunch
Go back to library
Leave library
Have dinner
1 hour of t.v
Sleep
Until the 28th May at 11am, then i'm getting wasted.

15/05/10

My Saturday spent in the library:




Perked up by the hottie in blue as I was leaving:


Theatre tonight for my housemate's production that she's been managing. Including a gay kiss between two hot straight guys on her course.

05/05/10

I've somehow managed to get extremely organised in the past day, mainly by lying to a senior lecturer about labs and getting some work knocked off my list of things that need doing. Saying that I still have a lot to do, i'm writing this while I have my lunch.

Another terrible nights sleep.
I fall asleep at 1.30am to the noise of my television because I needed something to drown out the thoughts of work in my head. I wake up at 3.13am and drift in and out of consciousness until 7.45. The strange haluciogenic dreames continued:
Swimming pools and robot animals and cartoon birds and my father and paper raining down and amber lights and some sort of death, life or soul, and my teeth and running my hands through a pile of gold coins.

So I told a housemate this morning and she's giving me some sleeping pills of hers tonight.

Oh, and some pictures i've collected over the past week:










One of them's a facebook picture of one of my mates, i'm sure you can tell which one. I thought it was a great picture so I saved it.

And welcome to the new followers and anyone else lured here by FMS.

04/05/10

So i've got fuck loads of uni work at the moment. I finish labs this friday so i've got about 7 lab write ups to finish, and 2 pieces of work to hand in; so doubt you'll be hearing from me again until friday.

Last night was maybe the worst nights sleep of my life, and that's counting when I took a gram of coke last year. I got to sleep at maybe 1.30am and woke up at 5.15am. I'd dreamt that my family cat had eaten a guinea pig that we don't actually own but did in my dream. And the guinea pig was a fat bastard and was choking my cat as it tried to swallow it. And I was trying to put my fingers down my cat throat and blood was coming out of it's mouth.
And I also remember dreaming being at a fairground and watching a ride like this:detach from the arms all Final Destination stylee and watching as it flew across the sky. And I could see injured people, so I got out my phone but instead of dialling 999 I just stared, curious at what they would do. Yeah, fucked up right. I think i'm pretty fucking stressed.
So i lay in bed at 5.15am, and I lay there until my alarm sounds at 7.45am. So I take a shower and walk to uni at 8.45 so I can start on work that i've just finished; almost 15 hours later.
So have a great few days, and pray for me, or send me healing waves, or sacrifice a small country animal, whatever you believe in. But i'll be back in a few days.





Yeah DJ Doorly, the DJ whose gig I met Mark at. Good job I don't connect his music to that night because Mark never text me back.

27/04/10

I wake up and guess the time, because I like to think I can controll my sleeping pattern. It's 9.30am?

It's 11.00am

I make scrambled eggs on toast, soaked in ketchup. I take a shower, look in the mirror, which I haven't done for maybe 2 days, and I see i've somehow grown what I can only call a half beard. Longer than stubble but not quite long enough to pass off. But I can't shave it because it's too long and I know it will mess up my crappy sensitive skin. And I can't trim it in order to shave it because I can't find the charger for my shaver.

And somehow in the last 2 hours i've agreed to go out on Thursday for a friend's birthday, and Friday because mine and my housemate's friends are visiting us, and Saturday with ex-work people, and Sunday in Manchester with J for bank holiday. I'm only looking forward to 3 of them nights.

And i've been thinking about removing my anonymity from this blog. But I haven't convinced myself yet. It's not worrying about friends finding this and reading things I don't want them to read, because everything on here is pretty much what I say to them, or what i've done with them. It's maybe because I think people reading this will feel like they know too much about me. I read many blogs, by anonymous and known, and I find the anonymous ones the most interesting. I feel like i'm reading things that people who see the writer's face don't know. I don't know. You see how I haven't convinced myself.

This post isn't interesting one bit. I may delete this later.

Fierce People

I've just watched Fierce People and i've got to say I loved it. The story was interesting, the cast were pretty good, the off-beat dream and drug scenes were well done and there were some funny one-liners thrown in.
As much shit that Kristen Stewart gets for her acting ability I always think she, not counting Twilight which I actualy do like, picks some great films to take part in. Adventureland was also a good watch. The kid Anton Yelchin, from Alpha Dog is, in my opinion, a great actor; witty and confident without a cocky or predictable attitude.
It also stars the hotness of Chris Evans, (highlight for spoiler) although he does end up raping Yelchin, so what other reason do you need to watch this?

In other news.
My mother came to see me on Wednesday, took me out for lunch. I bought her a birthday present.
I now have £19.10 to my name, yet I need to find a way to go out tonight. A friend is lending me some money to go out tomorrow for someone's birthday. My plan: get as wasted as i can before we go out. Thank you booze Britain, for our rediculous alcohol prices. And thank you 3 years of student living, for allowing me to down wine so I get very drunk very quickly.
Now i'm off to the shop to buy a loaf of bread and a bottle of wine. Loading up on butter sandwiches due to my empty cupboards and lack of self control.

I'm listening to: The Drums-Saddest Summer

12/04/10

So I awake at 1.30pm, roll and smoke a cigarette, take a shower and get dressed. Black wool Fred Perry sweater, grey Levis 511 slim fit jeans, brown lace-up military boots. I tear a page out of a leather notebook i purchased a few weeks ago and write my letter of notice to leave work.

FAO Management
I hereby give my one week's notice of leaving, from the date 12 April 2010. Wishing the best of luck to everyone I work with, it has been a great 2 years.
Andy

I walk to town and into the shop. I hand the letter to my manager, hug her, hug L who's working, then leave. I've left my phone charger at J's so i go into a phone shop.
Is there a way i can leave my phone here to charge?
Eeerm, we don't do that.
It's an iPhone, can you not just plug into the display ones?
Yes but it's entirely at your own risk, we can't take any responsibility for it.
Fine by me, I have insurance, I'll be back later.

I go and book a haircut.
Hey, we got these 50% off things in work, can i book an appointment for tomorrow?
Of course, oh, how do you know Zoe?
I don't.
Oh, ok yeah that's fine, what time? Morning or afternoon.
Afternoon, after 1pm.
Ok, so 1.15pm.
Thanks
I realise after i leave that Zoe is the new supervisor who is having her first day today. I've never seen her, so I don't know her.

I look in 3 clothes shops and buy a navy jumper for £21.50.
I return to the phone shop and my phone's not there. I see a guy no older than 19. His badge says he's called 'Luke' but i never trust things like that. I usually wear a badge that says 'Sid' for work.
Hey, where's my phone?
eeerm, phone? i don't know.
I left it here to charge.
Who served you?
I have no idea.
Ok, 1 second.
He walks into the back, emerging 30 seconds later with my phone.
Sorry we took it into the back to charge.
Oh, cool, thanks. Cya.

I start to walk back home and text M from work.
Just wanted to let you know i've given my notice in today. Been great working with you, make sure I still see you.
What!!!!!!???? :( Andy you're my man i dunno what i'm going to do without you!!! please stay in touch.
I'll still be in Leeds until July so don't think you're getting rid of me that easy. We'll just have to go out more.
It's a deal. Thank you so much for everything.

S texts me during this conversation.
Hey geek. We're gonna drink at ----'s. My old house, then prob just go to HP pub. They've shafted Headingly. Then they want to go out somewhere. What does thee want to do?
Sounds perfect. When you going to ----'s?
9, where do you want to end up?
In the gutter.
Nice. see you later.

I get home and one of our cats has returned after being away for 3 days. And now I'm just wasting time until 9 so I can start the weekend as I intend to go on.

09/04/10

I've just looked up the word dictionary in a dictionary. And now I'm contemplating the philosophical implications of a book defining it's own existence.
Cousin's facebook status, made me laugh.

Just a quick check-in. I'm still in Manchester. Went to see one of my best mates yesterday in the evening. She cooked me a chicken breast with new potatos and carrots. She didn't eat it, she's vegetarian; her diet is pretty much just pizza, chips, actually that's about it.
After i left there i picked up J and his sister and cousin and we went to a pub quiz. We came 5th. Then we had a great time watching J's sister and her mate on karaoke. Usually I hate karaoke but they're pretty good singers, and there was a girl there who sang Alanis Morissette-You Oughta Know that was pretty amazing.

So tonight we're supposed to be going out although we haven't really made any plans. I'm going to have to get up tomorrow morning to drive back to Leeds for work.

Other than that, i'm enjoying the sudden sunshine that's been given to us.

Immaterial

So i'm back in Leeds, with a night out planned, with no location specified.

Denim on Denim.

29/03/10

I'm back in Manchester until Friday. I don't mind coming home, free hot food, heating, friends. But I have a single bed, and I can't do everything I want. My mum's very relaxed, it's not like I have a curfew, but I can't act as recklessly as normal, or smoke in the house, or bring people round at any time of the night.
I need to start studying for my final exams.


A:Good afternoon Andrew. Want to go to velvet tonight for something to eat? J can't come but shall we invite ----. That could be cute.
Me:As cute as a cat in a blender. We'll reschedual.

All Things, All Right

I haven't moved much in the past 5 hours.
I stood under a too-hot shower for 25 minutes.
I finished Less Than Zero.
I smoked 6 cigarettes.
I talked to J on the phone.
I drank 500ml of orange and pinapple juice.
I listened to Okkervil River and Page France and The Smiths and Tegan and Sara and Ra Ra Riot and Laura Marling and Jónsi.
I've still not eaten.
I'm feeling alright.

Black Sheep Boy

I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me. 'What's wrong with you? Are you ill? Do you have a fever? Why are you acting weird?' asked Girl Housemate last night. 'I don't know, I feel like I'm going a bit crazy but I don't know why.'
On Sunday night/Monday morning when I was in the stage of consciousness and sleep i had a strange, scary dream/hallucination. It involved someone chewing on my fingers, talking echoey gibberish. It was freaking me out but i couldn't get out of it. When i finally did I thought I could see figures and shapes all around my room. After that I didn't get to sleep until 5am. early afternoon on Monday was relatively normal, I went into work for the picture, went shopping, returned the library book then headed home.
As soon as i got back into bed i felt exhausted. I lay in bed for at least 4 hours in silence but I couldn't get to sleep; it was frustrating.
I got back up at 7pm and went downstairs where Girl Housemates were. I picked up a take-away menu that I've ordered from 40 times before, always the same thing. I scanned the menu but i couldn't remember what it was i always have. I ask Girl Housemate 'what do i usually have?' That's when she asked 'What's wrong with you? Are you ill? Do you have a fever? Why are you acting weird?' I ordered my food and lay on the couch. Food came, I ate. I kind of watched The Truman Show, told Girl Housemates we need to find something to do tomorrow, and then went back to bed.
Today I'm feeling more sane, but I don't know what to do with myself. I have no classes, no work, no anything. I'm downloading some music: Okkervil River, Page France, The Sounds. Listening to these will hopefully fill my day, along with reading, eating and showering.

I'm listening to:Laura Marling-Ghosts

Last Night

It's 9.30pm and a taxi pulls up outside my house with 1 of my favourite people in and her friend. The friend is incessantly telling me that she's on the hunt for a BLADD (businessman, lawyer, accountant, doctor or dentist) tonight. She's already getting on my nerves.
We send the taxi to call lane, it arrives, we dive into a bar and I swiftly get hold of a carona. Ellie Goulding's Starry Eyed Jakwob remix comes on and I fall in love with this place. I'm on the hunt for a J G-L lookalike exactly like the picture. It's moderately busy so we decide to stay awhile until it gets uncomfortably busy. By that time I've had 4 more drinks, but I'm not feeling the effects.
We leave and go to the bar next door, with the same prices, music and people. It's just as satisfying. The rest of my group are wasted by 11.30 but I'm only slightly tipsy. It's always a problem.
It is decided that we head to a club nearby. On the way my friend falls over nothing and cuts her knee. When we enter the club it's bleeding and a bouncer call her over and says she needs to go to the medical room. Great, I'm now stuck with her annoying friend who's gotten more annoying with alcohol. She didn't find her BLADD (i didn't find my J G-L) so she's in a mood.

'It's soooo cold' 'No it's not'
'What the hell is this music?' 'It's Elton John'
It's really quiet, this is rubbish' 'Please stop talking'

My friend comes back, they've put a plaster on her knee and given her a tetnus shot, what the fuck.
We drink and dance and find other people we know. I leave at 2.30am.

I get into work today and my manager tells me she's handed in her notice after the owner of the shop sent her some rediculous e-mails. I read them.

(these are reworded but give the general idea)
My manager had sent a very detailed plan to the owner about giving staff an allowance for uniform so that they're wearing the shop's clothes. The owner sends her back a 1-worded e-mail:
DENIED

Is this guy serious? Who the fuck does he think he is speaking to people like that.

My manager also sent an e-mail about an in-store fashion show we'd organised for charity but had to cancel because we didn't get any help from the company for flyers, tickets etc.
Manager:'We have decided to cancel the fashion show because we've not received any support in terms of money for advertising.....'

Owner:'Who are 'we'? Why do you use the royale we? It is YOU........
Also can you send me a detailed report explaining your poor takings yesterday, maybe you should concentrate on picking up sales instead of sitting in your office writing e-mails that intend to offend and make me mad.'

This is the owner who was speaking to one of my supervisors about the staff and said:
'That girl with the big tits'
'She's called Laura'
'Yeah, the one with the big tits'
'No, she's called Laura'
'Yeah, anyway....'

Thank god i'm leaving this place in a month. Everyone in the actual shop is great, but the management of this company are all fucking idiots and don't deserve people like us working there.

I'm staying in Leeds for another week with 4 Girl Housemates to sort some things out, then heading back to Manchester whenever I'm not working.
Tonight consists of Ben & Jerry's frozen yoghurt and a film.
Tomorrow I need to hand a book back to the library, go into work for a staff picture, and buy a top I've seen in Zara.

I've bought Stephen Fry-Making History and Bret Easton Elis-Less Than Zero to read over Easter.

Peace Of Mine

It's Easter break :)
I've not had a chance to write down what's been happening lately. I've had large amounts of work to do counting down until the holidays; my dissertation has been handed in, as soon as i finished I couldn't stop smiling.
I'm staying in tonight, getting some Ben & Jerry's frozen yoghurt and watching The Hurt Locker.
I went to watch Alice in Wonderland last week, enjoyed it, wasn't amazing but I wasn't bored at any point.
Also went to see Shutter Island, slightly dissapointed. It was an OK film, but I predicted the ending after about 30 minutes.

I went back to Manchester last Sunday for mother's day. Went to the pub in the evening with J and few others. Then went out on Tuesday for a friend's 21st. We saw this girl who J used to be really good friends with. She stole some money from his house so they fell out, understandable. So she was being really sarcastic and arrogant while we were in this one club, she sent over some free shots. J said he wasn't going to drink any so i downed all 3. She walked past and called J 'fucking immature'. I don't really have a problem with her; J is over what happened, he doesn't care, but he obviously still doesn't want to be friends with her. She chatted to me a few times and I told her to just forget about it, if she doesn't speak to him he won't speak to her and then they can both get on with whatever they want.
After we left that club and went to another, she was in there again. I was dancing and saw J getting annoyed at 3 or 4 girls. When he came over he said one of them had poured their drink down his back but he didn't know which, they were his ex-friends mates. I don't really give a fuck about shit like this so I didn't get involved.
On Wednesday I did a little pub crawl in celebration of St. Patrick's Day. We went back to our house around 12am, carried on drinking then headed to a house party at about 1. It was small and lame. Everyone was in a 5x5m room, with the lights on, and some crappy DJ stuffed into a corner. We left after 20 minutes and headed back to ours. I saw my cousins mate while we were at the pub so he came round with a few mates after the house party. We all ended up staying awake until around 7am, needless to say i missed labs on Thursday.

Still no update on Mark, I texted him on Wednesday when i was wasted but not heard back. I'm not really sure what's going on there, he was really keen the first time we met, but I think he's either in the closet or just curious, and alcohol made him a bit more confident that night we met.

I'm just happy i have a month off now, I have work to do but I'm not going to be stressed about having to get it done really quick. I'm hoping to get back to Manchester quite a bit over Easter whenever I'm not working.
I'm also going to pick a book from my list to read over the holidays :) Oh, i love time off.

I'm listening to:City and Colour-The Death of Me

15/03/10

It's Saturday night. I'm at some freshers halls at some shitty party. There's a few of my good friends there, so I'm sticking by them.
We go outside for a cigarette, some drunken loser calls one of my friends a faggot. One of my other friends steps in:
'Are you alright? You pretty drunk? How embaressing on your part'
She then throws her drink in his face.
We go back inside.
I see one of my friends in a corner with some girl, it looks like they're having a heated discussion. Apparently the girl had come out of a room with my friend's friends boyfriend....i think. My friend ended up making the girl start crying, which was pretty rediculous because i listened to most of what was being said and she wasn't being attacked or blamed, just asked what had happened.
So, that's where it all started, the girls boyfriend got annoyed, there was already a fight going on outside. So when all of this moved outside it turned into a huge mess. Fists, drinks, a whole lot of stupid shit.
I hate freshers, they're still all caught up in their high school drama. Who gives a shit.

I left with one of my friends and went to a gay club. When we got there everything had changed from when i was last there....and the people there weren't exactly the usual studenty crowd.
We left and went to a few other bars, left about 2am.
I reaslied the day after that the first place had moved location and i'd totally forgotten. Oops.

I'm at my family home for the next few days. Arrived yesterday for mother's day. My mum didn't know i was coming home so it was pretty fun surprising her, my sister has cooked so we had a nice family meal.
I'm planning to get a lot of work done while i'm here, it's so much easier than trying to work in Leeds.
Tonight i think i'm going out with my core group of best mates. One of the guys' Grandmother and Father died on the same day last week, so it's all been pretty emotional recently. We're pretty much the only friends he's told so we want to make sure he's coping and feeling supported. I've never really had someone that close to me die, my uncle and grandfather have both died in the last few years, but I wasn't really close to either of them. It's always a sad occasion when someone dies but i have no idea what it's like when someone so close to you passes and it leaves a huge hole in your life, leaving you wondering what the hell just happened.
My friend and I had a really long chat just after it happened and he said it was feeling like a dream. I still don't think he's dealing with it properly, he father and his grandmother were 2 of the most important people in his life. What bothered me was him saying he was feeling guilty for not telling other people. I told him that the only person he should be thinking about at the moment is himself. You can't worry about what other people are thinking when there's so much already on your mind.